industriv.

The Bureau intermittently receives queries that fall outside its remit. The current submission concerns a two-panel photograph: an elderly man and a brat in a garden. The brat wears a cotton garment bearing the word surf and is occupied with the holding of a small bird to a flower. The man's expression, on initial review, modes what the Bureau identifies as benevolent attention; the audio submitted with the photograph reveals an altogether different attitude: that is a stupid fucking T-shirt, the jerk has never surfed, the runt is a lying little shit with a bullshit shirt. The Bureau finds for the elderly man. There is no evidence of board ownership, no waxed foot residue, no exposure to brine of any meaningful duration; the garment is a costume of a life the brat does not lead. Philip Jeck (composer of Surf, 1999, Touch, TO:36) is not exempt from this judgement on principle, though the Bureau notes that Jeck produced a body of work in mitigation; the little sphincter has produced only the small bird in his hand, which the Bureau does not regard as sufficient. The matter is closed.